Why do people have to be so hurtful?

It is not like me to be very open about my thoughts, about my feelings.  However this last week I have been following a story about our adoption agency and I cannot get over how cruel people are.  So I am opening up to the few of you who check in on us here. 

I am aggravated, I am hurt, I am astonished by the things people are saying.  What hurts the most is to think that if my daughter were older she could be reading these things and hearing these things too.  I have always known people could be very hurtful, but lately I am just so astonished at the things I am reading.  While they may not be directed at me or my family they are implying that their statements are true for all families built by adoption.

On Friday night dateline aired a story about a Virginia father who says he wanted his daughter even when his ex girlfriend did not.  I can say by having been through the entire adoption process that some of the things he states in his interview are completely false.  Utah law proved he did not file in the time frame allowed and the baby's parents were given permission to continue with the adoption.  He is now trying to sue the agency, which happens to be our agency, the parents and the parent's attorney for $10 million.  There are several things that Dateline did not mention and several things that people who have not been through this will never understand.  Each day now I read horrible things that people are posting on our agency's website and it makes me so sad.

While I agree that the 20 days putative fathers are given in Utah seems very short, especially compared to the six months that Wyoming gives.  I do not agree with several of the accusations people are making about the agency.  A Act of Love helped Wes and I to build our family.  They helped Kassi's birth mother.   They made sure both of us had legal counsel and understood the laws of adoption.  I can only say great things about this agency.

This week I have read comments from people saying that adopting is not natural and God did not mean for children to be adopted, comments about how people who used this agency "bought" themselves a baby, comments about how those who adopt a child without knowing the birth father has been contacted and agreed to the adoption are kidnapping, comments of how an adoptive parent is not a parent.  All of these things I have read make me cry. 

MY baby girl will always be MY baby girl.  She is showered with love and affection everyday and will always know how much she is loved.  She will always know she is MY baby girl.  I AM HER MOM.  We did not kidnap her, we did not buy her, we did not go against God...God brought us together.   We paid fees yes, we paid for counseling for Kassi's birth mother, we paid for all of her doctors appointments, we paid for her expenses when she was pregnant and I assure you had we chosen a surrogate we would have paid the exact same things.  We also paid to have the counselors by her side for the first few nights after Kassi was born.  We paid all of the necessary legal fees and yes it can be expensive, but then I ask how much did some pay for their pregnancies and deliveries? 

I have the utmost respect and appreciation for Kassi's birth mother.  She will always hold a special place in my heart.  Not only did she give me the greatest gift ever she gave Kassi the gift of life.  Kassi knows about her birth mother and her questions are always answered truthfully.  I will still say though that I am Kassi's Mom.  I know what it is like to have a mother and not a mom.  Being biologically related to someone in no way makes a person a mom or dad, a mother or father, yes, but not a mom or dad.

I fear that the day will come when Kassi will be subject to people's cruelty.  I pray that she always knows and remembers how much she is loved.  I know I cannot protect her from people forever, but I hope that I can at least help her to have the confidence to not be bothered by people's hurtful comments.